I am Not a Coward Anymore

On February 20th of 2019, I wrote and published a blog post titled ‘I Don’t Want to be a Coward’. Today, on December 20th of 2019, I think I can officially say that I no longer am. So, how did I do it? How did I become acquainted with courage?


1)  I wrote it.

I keep saying this. When you write down your goals, it commands the universe to hear you. Or, in less Insta-Spiritual terms, it commands the self to hear you. I’m sure we all have many silly little goals: get rich, get a big bum, have a snatched waist, hit 100 followers on Twitter. With all the little goals we have floating around in our minds, it can be difficult to really zero down on the one. When your goal transfers from a thought to a written plan, it gets noticed by you. It gets the recognition from you that it deserves. And then it gets done.


2)  I envisioned it.

I did what I do best. I daydreamed. I started imagining a life where I was more assertive; where I said things as they were without hesitation and where I didn’t have anxiety attacks prior to uncomfortable situations. Then I started imagining good things manifesting as a result of it. People that I care about bettering themselves because I told them the ugly truth, people that were hurting me apologising because I told them I wasn’t having it anymore. The more I saw it, the more I performed it.


3)  I publicly declared it.

I told you guys. The internet. A platform the entire world has access to. I’m not saying you should go and start a blog. But go tell somebody who will hold you accountable. Tell somebody who will check up on you 10 months later and say ‘did you do that thing you said you would do by the end of the year?’ Apply pressure.


4)  I was responsible for it.

You have someone watching you whether you are aware of it or not. You are someone’s role model. Someone somewhere is watching you, trying to be like you and learn from you. I have a saviour complex – a psychological need to protect, teach and save. It is not a good thing at all but I used it to achieve a good result. I told myself that unless I bettered myself, I can’t better anyone else. I couldn’t teach others courage unless I truthfully learned courage myself. So, if you find yourself struggling to be bold for yourself, do it for the sheer fact that someone else can learn from you.


5) I practised it.

I started being courageous in little, tedious situations that did not call for it. I started putting myself up for things that I didn’t necessarily need to put myself up for. I started having mildly difficult conversations so I could deal with the really tough ones. I didn’t wait for my mindset to change or for something to shift in my psyche. Too often we wait for something to change on the inside of us before we start being the person we want to be on the outside. The ironic thing is, 90% of the time it takes us changing our actions outwardly, to change the man within. I didn’t just become courageous inwardly and then start practising these acts of courage. I made a decision to practise acts of courage until it stopped being so terrifying.

It isn’t second nature. It will never be second nature. Courage is always going to be a thing that requires a massive step; that’s why they call it a ‘leap’ of faith. It isn’t supposed to be comfortable either. Even to this day, the situations that call for courage are uncomfortable ones but I still do them. Why? Because that’s how I know I’m growing.

If you’re sitting in comfort, you’re not walking in growth.

So, how about it? Who’s down for a glass of discomfort and growth in 2020?

Live in Peace,

Kyra-Ann ईबी

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